Meditation Practice Day Two

I noticed more neck tension today, and found myself more focused on the sound of cars than the birds.  Drawing my focus back to the birds helped to put the cars more in the background.  Whether from all the weed digging I did on Saturday and Sunday, or because today is Monday and a work day, I was much more aware of aches in my body and the difficulty sitting in one position.

Each day is its own experience. Yesterday, it was a little later when I sat, which gave me the warmth of the sun on my eyelids, cheeks, and arms.  As the days grow longer and the sun appears earlier each morning, I will welcome that early morning embrace of the sun's warmth.

Meditation Practice Day One

I sat and breathed for 15 minutes on the patio this morning.  With eyes closed, I was most aware of the sound of birds, light neighborhood traffic, a train horn, and the occasional chirping squirrel.  As I continued to breathe and let thoughts of to-do list items drift away whenever they came to mind, the next sense I had was the contrast of the cool air in my nostril and on the surface of my skin compared to the warmth of the sun penetrating deeper into my body.  With half my face in the shadow of the patio post, and the other half in the sunlight, I felt the temperature differential most keenly there.
A gentle chime sound on the timer of my iPad indicated to me that 15 minutes had passed.
I am beginning a daily contemplative practice as part of a 6-month program to become a certified coach - life coach, leadership coach, organizational coach - it could be some or all of those.  The coaching process is about deep listening and powerful questions - the opposite of my automatic tendency to offer advice and problem-solve, and talk more than listen.  In order to do that, developing my own self-awareness is crucial.  Hence the required daily contemplative practice.
I'm looking forward to where it takes me!

A long overdue post from April 22, 2013, when Ben and good friend Devon went to prom.  After a week of April snows that led to school letting out at 10:45 am on Monday, starting 2 hours late on Tuesday, and a full snow day on Wednesday, it was a beautiful evening for spring dresses on Saturday (when most of the snow had melted.)
They gathered at one girl's house for pictures, then the group of 16 or so went to dinner together.  Two of the other couples are in the last photo - Ben's friends Luci (on the left) and Sierra (on the right) and their dates.
After going all out last year with the rented tux and assorted accessories, this year Ben decided to make use of his choir uniform (tuxedo pants, tuxedo shirt, and vest), with the added touch of his red bow tie.
A good time was had by all.

The Gift of Sight

Having worn glasses for close to 40 years, I don't take my vision lightly.  I appreciate that my glasses bend the light coming into my eyes so that the focal point lands on my retina.  Or however that works.  The experience I've had over the last 4 weeks that started with a torn retina in my left eye has left me appreciating my vision to an even greater degree, and even more, I appreciate having two eyes.  Spare body parts are good things!
Although not yet back to normal, the vision in my left eye is much improved from the day a blood vessel let loose in the interior of my eyeball.  Being temporarily blind in one eye is a manageable challenge.  The first 2 weeks, I didn't drive.  We live around the corner from the mid-town bus gathering point, so I rode the bus to work.  Doug, Ben, some dear friends, and my friendly colleagues gave me rides to appointments or home at the end of some days.  
At this point, my vision is around 90% - it's like having a film on my glasses.  If the healing continues at a similar rate, it could be close to 100% in a week or so.  The gift of sight is truly an amazing thing.

Big Eyes - with update

On Monday, the ophthalmologist dilated my eyes bigger than they've ever been before.  The week before, I had started seeing floaters _ first it was a gnat that i thought I saw out of the corner of my eye, then what looked like a human hair under a microscope, and by Saturday, the hair was morphing into different shapes and getting all knobby, and a vast sprinkling of finely ground pepper joined the party.
Doug knew all about floaters and the potential seriousness of them (in terms of indicating possible damage to the retina, that left untreated, can lead to loss of vision), and he insisted that I get it checked out right away rather than waiting 2 weeks until my already scheduled annual physical.  Some friends recommended Dr. Andrew Norris at the Eye and Laser Clinic, and by 10am Monday morning, I looked like Puss in Boots.
Thank goodness for Doug's insistence, because after using lots of different magnification instruments and shining lots of lights in my eye, the doc informed me of the "C" shaped tear (rhymes with pear) in my retina that required immediate treatment.  After more eye drops and even bigger eyes came goopy stuff to hold a special contact lens and magnifier on my eye while he shot about 100 laser pulses at the torn area of the retina to "spot weld" it closed.
I was ordered to take it easy for a while, not worry about my eye, not worry about anything, not lift anything, not strain myself, etc. etc., and stay home from work and not read or do any close work (no crochet, no crosswords.)  So I followed the instructions, went in for my follow-up appointment on Wednesday, and everything looked hunky dory.  Today I went back to work, but still taking it easy and being careful.  Unfortunately, something went wrong, and I was back in the exam room with even more floaters in my eye than the first time.  The new development is a hemorrhage, and so now I'm off to the retinal specialist, the next step up from the ophthalmologist who did Monday's laser surgery.  To be continued when I get back from the specialist!  

UPDATE Thursday evening  Dr. K had to use a mini ultrasound wand to examine my eye because he couldn't see the retina through the bleeding. (It's a girl!)  He doesn't think there's a new tear (rhymes with hair) in the retina, but that a blood vessel that bridges the laser-spot-welding-repair area is bleeding into the inside of the eyeball, and he'll check it again on Monday morning to see if the bleeding has slowed down or stopped.  If it's what he thinks it is, the good news is that I won't need additional "laser" blasts to repair a new tear (rhymes with bear). 

Bad news is until the bleeding stops and the blood eventually dissipates, I have almost no vision in my left eye.  With my right eye closed, I can see general shapes, colors, and light, but no facial features, and when they put the big "E" on the eye chart that filled the whole chart area, I could not even tell there was any black on the chart.  With my right eye open, depth perception is not good, and reading is somewhat hampered.  But in other good news, Ben is a fabulous caregiver and chauffeur. (Doug is in D.C. until Sunday.) We'll be enjoying some Dr. Who together over the weekend.

And if you have questions about detached and torn retinas, below is the best explanation I've found.

What is the retina?

The retina is a light-sensing membrane that lines the back of the eye. It captures and transmits images to the brain. The outlying parts of the retina are responsible for peripheral vision.

What are retinal tears and detachments?
Sometimes part of the retina either tears or pulls away (detaches) from the back of the eye. When this happens, vision loss may occur.

What causes a retinal tear or detachment?
Most retinal detachments are caused by the presence of one or more small tears or holes in the retina. These tears may be due to the thinning of the retina that comes with age, but more often they are caused by shrinkage of the vitreous — a clear, gel-like substance that fills the inside of the eye. The vitreous helps maintain the shape of the eye and allows light to pass through the retina.

Who gets retinal tears and detachments?
Retinal tears and detachments usually affect people who are middle-aged or older. These eye problems are more likely to develop in very nearsighted people and those with a family history of retinal problems. A hard, solid blow to the eye may also cause retinal detachments.

What are the symptoms of a retinal tear or detachment?
If there is a tear, you may notice floaters (specks or threads in your vision), flashes (lights, stars or streaks in your vision) or sudden blurry vision. With a retinal detachment, an area of your vision may seem shadowed. And you may also experience the same symptoms as someone with a retinal tear.

Is treatment necessary?
Yes. Prompt treatment of a torn retina can prevent the retina from detaching. Once the retina becomes detached, it must be surgically repaired to prevent vision loss.

What are the treatment options?
If the retina has a tear or hole, but has not become completely detached, your ophthalmologist may recommend a special type of laser treatment (photocoagulation) or freezing (cryopexy). If the retina is detached, surgical repair is necessary.

What's involved in laser treatment?

During this procedure, your ophthalmologist will use a laser to place small burns around the edge of the retinal tear. These burns produce scars that seal the edges of the tear and prevent fluid from passing through and collecting under the retina. Laser photocoagulation is often done as an outpatient procedure and requires no surgical incision.

Prom 2012

Ben and Terry Lou, good friends since kindergarten, went to prom.  While they had dinner at Rodizio's, Terry Lou's parents and Doug and I had dinner together at Jax.  Then Kath and I drove Ben and TL to prom (they both have their permits, but not their licenses yet), and caught the late show of "Hunger Games" while they danced half the night away.  Very convenient when your son's date's mom is your own wonderful friend.  Happy Birthday, Kath!

One more look at the Tetons

The last time I went through the Tetons as a teenager, with Tara and Mom, was in a tow truck. The time before that, as a younger teen, getting Tara to her youth camp on time meant driving through the night through the Tetons.

This trip gave us two successful drives through these mountains, one at the beginning, and another at the end. What a nice change.